Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row.

I look for women I know are gonna bust me up good. Come on, man, who can resist that? Who can resist that emotional pain? Yeah, they all have the same line, they're so sweet: I'm not gonna hurt you like all the others. Really I'm not. I'm gonna introduce you to a whole new level of pain!

I'm responsible. I even did a commercial for MTV saying how I was going to register to vote. And I still haven't.

I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.

There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.

I don't deny my life-style is occasionally pretty wild.

I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock n roll and ex-wives. In that order.