Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row.

My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!

With any other celebrity, people come up and say, 'Hey, I really like your work.' But with my fans, when they see me, they don't even say hello. They just go, 'AWWWWWGHGHHHGHGHRRR!'

Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row.

When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.

I'd rather entertain people than offend them.

I got divorced, which was not a good thing for a revivalist minister. It did not go down well. I'd already been banned from a couple churches for my jokes. So one day I woke up and decided it was time to start living for myself.