I have lived a carnal life. My view of life is 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!' I don't have to go through the thing of paying for it in the next life. I know I'm screwed in the next life.

I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn't coming back.' They started throwing Bibles.

I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.

So many people counted on me to be the party, I had to move far enough away that they wouldn't want to drive there.

I got divorced, which was not a good thing for a revivalist minister. It did not go down well. I'd already been banned from a couple churches for my jokes. So one day I woke up and decided it was time to start living for myself.

John Goodman isn't fat. He's in a category beyond fat. What does one call it? Whalelike.

Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.