I have lived a carnal life. My view of life is 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!' I don't have to go through the thing of paying for it in the next life. I know I'm screwed in the next life.

Jim Bakker. He's lost everything, he's ruined. And the worst thing of all he still has to wake up to her!

Every generation has someone who steps outside the norm and offers a voice for the unspeakable attitudes of that time. I represent everything that's supposed to be wrong, everything that's forbidden.

With any other celebrity, people come up and say, 'Hey, I really like your work.' But with my fans, when they see me, they don't even say hello. They just go, 'AWWWWWGHGHHHGHGHRRR!'

You know what the problem is with world hunger? We've been sending them food.

Real comedy doesn't just make people laugh and think, but makes them laugh and change.

If I've learned one thing, it's 'don't tell the truth.' Lies keep you together.