There's always 30 or 40 Christians standing around, saying, "It's a shame that he has to die." And Jesus is saying, "Well, maybe I wouldn't have to if somebody would get a ladder and pair of pliers!!"

My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!

I don't deny my life-style is occasionally pretty wild.

AIDS is a horrible disease, and the people who catch it deserve compassion.

Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row.

It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.