AIDS is a horrible disease, and the people who catch it deserve compassion.

So many people counted on me to be the party, I had to move far enough away that they wouldn't want to drive there.

Lick the alphabet. It makes you appear creative, it's an easy diagram to remember, it's like "aaaaa.... beeeee.... ceeee.

Ive never been against women. That anti-feminist rap is bogus. I think men should be nice to women, buy them diamonds.

The Russians haven't been to the moon. You know why? Because they're space pussies... You really want to impress us? Bring us back our FLAG!

Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.

I don't deny my life-style is occasionally pretty wild.