Jesus had a tough life. I read about that guy. Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn't scare the F- out of everybody!
Real comedy doesn't just make people laugh and think, but makes them laugh and change.
Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row.
It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!
I don't deny my life-style is occasionally pretty wild.
With any other celebrity, people come up and say, 'Hey, I really like your work.' But with my fans, when they see me, they don't even say hello. They just go, 'AWWWWWGHGHHHGHGHRRR!'