I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock n roll and ex-wives. In that order.

Obviously I'm not a role model for impressionable youth.

I'm responsible. I even did a commercial for MTV saying how I was going to register to vote. And I still haven't.

Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.

When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.

I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn't coming back.' They started throwing Bibles.

I called a detox center - just to see how much it would cost: $13,000 for three weeks! My friends, if you can come up with thirteen grand, you don't have a problem yet.