With any other celebrity, people come up and say, 'Hey, I really like your work.' But with my fans, when they see me, they don't even say hello. They just go, 'AWWWWWGHGHHHGHGHRRR!'

You don't know what a rough crowd is. If all I have to do is go make people laugh, that's nothing. Let me tell you what a tough crowd is. A tough crowd is going to a morning service and you got six people there and you gotta pay your house payment. That's a tough crowd.

John Goodman isn't fat. He's in a category beyond fat. What does one call it? Whalelike.

Ive never been against women. That anti-feminist rap is bogus. I think men should be nice to women, buy them diamonds.

Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.

I'm responsible. I even did a commercial for MTV saying how I was going to register to vote. And I still haven't.

Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.