With any other celebrity, people come up and say, 'Hey, I really like your work.' But with my fans, when they see me, they don't even say hello. They just go, 'AWWWWWGHGHHHGHGHRRR!'

Lick the alphabet. It makes you appear creative, it's an easy diagram to remember, it's like "aaaaa.... beeeee.... ceeee.

Real comedy doesn't just make people laugh and think, but makes them laugh and change.

I don't deny my life-style is occasionally pretty wild.

So many people counted on me to be the party, I had to move far enough away that they wouldn't want to drive there.

I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.

Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'