When I came home and showed my mother my report card with a mark of 98 in arithmetic, she wanted to know who had gotten the other two points.

Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late.

Happiness is a by-product. You cannot pursue it by itself.

If you want to kill time why not try working it to death.

Any beast can cry over the misfortunes of its own child. It takes a mensch to weep for others' children.

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.

Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.