It's a good thing that when God created the rainbow he didn't consult a decorator or he would still be picking colors.

Courage is walking naked through a cannibal village

When I came home and showed my mother my report card with a mark of 98 in arithmetic, she wanted to know who had gotten the other two points.

It's a good thing that when God created the rainbow he didn't consult a decorator or he would still be picking colors.

The Puritans came to America to worship in their way and to force everybody else to do the same thing.

Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.