Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don't compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.

The American success formula is first to get a home of your own, then to get a car of your own so you don't have to stay in that home of your own.

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.

More and more Congressmen now stay in Washington all year-round because they can't stay at home under the laws they've passed.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.

You don't have to be in "Who's Who" to know what's what.