A woman's place is in the home. Why should she go out and take away a workingman's pay instead of staying home and stealing out of his jacket like a good wife.

Times don't change. Men do.

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

When I was a boy I used to do what my father wanted. Now I have to do what my boy wants. My problem is: When am I going to do what I want?

At the U.N., any nation that fights back is censored as an "aggressor."

I'm gonna put all my money into taxes. They're sure to go up.

There was an old Woman who lived in a shoe She had so many children Her government subsidy check came to $4,892.