Democracy means doing whatever you want without asking permission of anybody but your boss, your doctor, your lawyer, your landlord, your bank, your city, your state and federal authorities, and your wife and children.

Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it.

If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.

The Puritans came to America to worship in their way and to force everybody else to do the same thing.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Democracy means doing whatever you want without asking permission of anybody but your boss, your doctor, your lawyer, your landlord, your bank, your city, your state and federal authorities, and your wife and children.