Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late.
Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.
The beauty of America is that the average person always thinks she is above average.
Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
Happiness is a by-product. You cannot pursue it by itself.
Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don't compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.