Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.

Never lend money to a friend. It's dangerous. It could damage his memory.

The high IQ has become the American equivalent of the Legion of Honor, positive proof of a child's intellectual aristocracy.... It has become more important to be a smart kid than a good kid or even a healthy kid.

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

More and more Congressmen now stay in Washington all year-round because they can't stay at home under the laws they've passed.

Give your child a spanking once a day. If you don't know why, he does.

When I was a boy I used to do what my father wanted. Now I have to do what my boy wants. My problem is: When am I going to do what I want?