The longest word in the world is "a word from our sponsor."

Life begins at forty, but so does arthritis, and the habit of telling the same story three times to the same person.

The reason God made man before woman was that he didn't want any suggestions.

The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.

Any kid who has two parents who are interested in him and has a houseful of books isn't poor.

At the U.N., any nation that fights back is censored as an "aggressor."

The chaplain of the Senate does not pray for the Senate. He watches the Senate and prays for the country.