If you sell the Vatican and you take that money and you use it to feed every single human being on the planet, you will get cah-azy pussy. All the pussy. I don't mean literally. That might not be your cup of tea. I don't know what your version of 'all the pussy' is. But you'll get all the pussy.

The truth is, I've denied it for years, but I love deconstructing comedy.

I was paralyzed with fear. It was unbearable to be among other kids who were just standing around being fine. It was one of the many inconveniences of this paradox I lived with -the more people I was surrounded by, the more frighteningly alone I felt.

If we can send a person to the moon, we can send someone with AIDS to the moon, and then someday we can send everybody with AIDS to the moon.

Guess what, Martin Luther King? I had a dream, too.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

The reason the rest of us remember, like, when John Lennon died, is because it's a moment when adrenaline is surging.