If you sell the Vatican and you take that money and you use it to feed every single human being on the planet, you will get cah-azy pussy. All the pussy. I don't mean literally. That might not be your cup of tea. I don't know what your version of 'all the pussy' is. But you'll get all the pussy.

Being with friends felt like a burden. I remember just sobbing.

I was paralyzed with fear. It was unbearable to be among other kids who were just standing around being fine. It was one of the many inconveniences of this paradox I lived with -the more people I was surrounded by, the more frighteningly alone I felt.

I do love the idea of ritual.

I'm Jewish, but I'm totally not.

The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17.

I don't really care for like fat jokes about women, specifically.