She, uh, came out of the closet recently, my niece. Um... She announced to the family that she's a lesbian and... She's seven, did I mention that? And, uh, I don't even know if she knows what a lesbian is, but I support her completely. And, uh... I'll tell you what's heartbreaking. My sister punished her for it. Can you believe that? No pussy for a week. Which to us may not sound like... But when you're seven, you know, a week is a long time.

But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough.

If you take a shower with your boyfriend, I guarantee by the time you step out of that shower, your breasts will be sparkling clean.

Relations between black and white would be greatly improved if we were more accepting of our fears and our feelings and more vocal about it.

Strippers should be role-models for little girls. If only for the fact that they wax their assholes.

Jews are the most liberal, scrappy, civil-rightsy people there are.

I don't need a lot of space.