I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore.

I think that whenever a Jew has any kind of notoriety, good or bad, the Jews find it to be good.

I tend to be more arrogant on stage. Far more ignorant. I sometimes say what I think and sometimes say the opposite of what I think and the lines get blurred, but I can only hope that some kind of absolute power transcends.

Since so many people these days don't seem to start their families until around age forty, I predict there will be less child beating, but more slipped disks from lifting babies out of cribs. Even the father of advanced age who's not inclined to spare the rod is likely to suffer more than his victim: The first punch he throws might well be the last straw for his rotator cuff, reducing his disciplinary options to mere verbal abuse and napping.

I don't think half my stuff would be funny if the audience didn't feel at least a little bit safe that it's not how I truly feel.

I love making videos on my couch. You can put those on the Internet fast. I can express myself.

I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I'd do it again in a second.