All comics want to be musicians. There's a part of me that wants to be a serious musician. I love songs about heartache and heartbreak.

You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage.

Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill.

You're supposed to have friends you can tell anything to.

I buy water at the liquor store across the street from where I live. So I'm walking into the door, and standing, loitering, outside the door is a man. And I walk by him to go in, and he says, "I want pussy!" Now, I don't want to seem conceited or anything, but he was talking about me!

I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore.

I don't really like saying "the gays"... I'm not sure why. I suppose I say "the Jews." but I don't say "the blacks." I guess because I'm a Jew for all intents and purposes and to group people together of which I am not one in such a casual way feels disrespectful.