All comics want to be musicians. There's a part of me that wants to be a serious musician. I love songs about heartache and heartbreak.

I've always kept my overhead low so I could do whatever I want. I think of myself as lazy with spurts of getting a lot done. I find myself rooting against things sometimes because I get excited at the thought of a clean slate.

When I was 9 or 10 years old, my dad took me over to a neighboring farm to help get stuff for the meal. The farmer, Vic, told me to look at all the turkeys and pick one out. I saw a cute one with a silly walk and cried, 'Him!' Before my pointing finger had even dropped to my side, Vic had grabbed the turkey by the neck and slit [the animal's] throat. Blood and feathers went flying. I had sentenced that turkey to death! Up until then, I didn't know where meat came from—and I've been a vegetarian ever since.

Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts.

Why would I become involved with something that doesn't include everyone? If you're getting married today, it's the equivalent of joining a country club that doesn't allow blacks or Jews.

People say, like, "I love when you smile because part of your mouth goes up," then I never organically smile again.

All comics want to be musicians. There's a part of me that wants to be a serious musician. I love songs about heartache and heartbreak.