I first did stand-up when I was 17, and then I passed out fliers for a comedy club (in New York City) and I got onstage whenever I could. And musical theater went out the window as soon as I started doing stand-up.

The audience works as such a mob. They either all laugh or all don't laugh, and, you know, changes from audience to audience.

I can't cater to everyone's needs and what they're going to be offended by; that's one freedom I have.

I will always try to be happy. I don’t think people really understand the value of happiness until they know what it’s like to be in that very, very dark place. It’s not romantic. Not even a little.

I am diagnosed with not having enough insanely-addictive drugs coursing through my body.

You can be Hitler and go to confession and say forgive me, Father, I killed six million Jews, and the priest would just be like no problem. Say 10 Heil Marys. And Hitler goes to heaven.

Smells definitely do have a crazy impact on me.