It's funny how people will think I'm being sarcastic a lot and joking. So I'll say, "I like your dress," and they'll go "(bleep) you!" Or I say something serious and they go, "Oh, yeah, ha-ha." They're strangers. They're people who know me from comedy, but luckily I am on pretty much all the time!

You're supposed to have friends you can tell anything to.

Men like to squash you. I just want someone who's happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn't have to squash mine.

I think the difference between being miserable and finding happiness is just a matter of perspective. If you live your life defining yourself by what other people think of you, it's a form of self-torture.

I gave him a compliment! All right, I told him he probably would've made, like, a really expensive slave in the, like, in the olden-timey days.

People can't help what topics cut them deep. It all depends on who's inferring - and what the contexts of their lives are at the time.

I can't wait till Sunday, I'm gonna see my favorite niece and my other niece.