Comics who grew up surviving their childhood by being able to be the first one to make the joke about their weight or their hairy arms - like me - whatever they're insecure about, whatever they're apologizing for, that becomes their strength.

The sun shines directly on this great country, and it can be harvested, it's not owned by anybody. It's something the Jews and the Palestinians share and could work together to make the whole world a better place, not just this Middle East stuff, but the whole world.

I don't wanna be labeled as straight or labeled as gay. I just want people to look at me and see me as white.

I think the difference between being miserable and finding happiness is just a matter of perspective. If you live your life defining yourself by what other people think of you, it's a form of self-torture.

But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough.

We live in a fun time with so many ways to express yourself, you would be crazy to be a comedian and not check them all out.

Men like to squash you. I just want someone who's happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn't have to squash mine.