I don't want to be a facilitator for other funny people. It doesn't seem smart for me to be in a comedy and not be funny. My spirit can't take it.

The best time to have a baby is when you're a black teenager.

Drew Friedman isn't just a brilliant artist. He takes you to a place. He takes you back in time. He makes you smell the stale cigarettes and cold brisket and you say, thank you for the pleasure.

If I don't do stand-up for two weeks, I get freaked out.

Don’t forget, God can see you masturbating. But don’t stop. He’s almost there.

People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!

If I have kids, I'll adopt.