When God gives you AIDS - and God does give you AIDS, by the way - make lemonAIDS.

Women don't ask to be raped, but there are some that are asking to be motorboated

Letting your freak flag fly is something, no matter who you are, that takes great bravery, straight up.

My stepfather, John O'Hara, was the goodest man there was. He was not a man of many words, but of carefully chosen ones. He was the one parent who didn't try to fix me. One night I sat on his lap in his chair by the wood stove, sobbing. He just held me quietly and then asked only, "What does it feel like?" It was the first time I was prompted to articulate it. I thought about it, then said, "I feel homesick." That still feels like the most accurate description - I felt homesick, but I was home.

It's funny how people will think I'm being sarcastic a lot and joking. So I'll say, "I like your dress," and they'll go "(bleep) you!" Or I say something serious and they go, "Oh, yeah, ha-ha." They're strangers. They're people who know me from comedy, but luckily I am on pretty much all the time!

I have a ton of Holocaust stuff, and some of it is really hard core.

You have to take the chance to bomb and disappoint audiences.