I like trying jokes and seeing the response, and if I end up doing it in my act, it won't be 140 characters. Twitter is helpful that way to me. It's like a message in a bottle. But a lot of times I think I tweet the stuff I would like to say to teenage me.

I don't wanna be labeled as straight or labeled as gay. I just want people to look at me and see me as white.

I've always kept my overhead low so I could do whatever I want. I think of myself as lazy with spurts of getting a lot done. I find myself rooting against things sometimes because I get excited at the thought of a clean slate.

I'm not wanting and I don't live in a hovel, but if you keep your costs low, you can do what you want to do creatively.

I think I've been called edgy - but in all honestly, there is a safety in what I do because I'm always the idiot.

I am 39 years old, and I still wake up every morning really excited I don't have to go to school.

Comics who grew up surviving their childhood by being able to be the first one to make the joke about their weight or their hairy arms - like me - whatever they're insecure about, whatever they're apologizing for, that becomes their strength.