This is AIDS. AIDS is as real as an egg.

I commend you on all you've done for PETA, wrestling the one-eyed trouser snake with your bare hands, gently cuddling it in your arms, and nurturing it back to health.

I don't really care for like fat jokes about women, specifically.

I like to think of myself as 'hot-larious' I'm cute, but I'm totally approachable.

I became known for surprising audiences. Except now, if I surprise them every time, they expect that.

I really think everything is fair game.

It feels weird in our ear holes to hear people worshipping a guy named Ron. We know Rons in our life.