I always look at myself knowing that I will have a certain degree of cognitive distortion.

I learned that people in wheelchairs are allowed to have marathons … which, to me, seems like cheating, but what are you gonna say?

I think Jews tend to hold me in fairly high regard.

Being with friends felt like a burden. I remember just sobbing.

I became known for surprising audiences. Except now, if I surprise them every time, they expect that.

Growing up, I always loved Disney movies, but the first movie I remember seeing is 'Sleepers,' so I wasn't really taken to children's movies.

I first did stand-up when I was 17, and then I passed out fliers for a comedy club (in New York City) and I got onstage whenever I could. And musical theater went out the window as soon as I started doing stand-up.