How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

With women you don't have to talk your head off. You just say a word and let them fill in from there.

I've said it once and I'll say it a a hundred times, I'm forty-four years old.

If you want to live a long time, don't fool with nothing old but money, nothing big but a bank roll, nothing black but a Cadillac, nothing over twenty-two years, nothing that weighs over 130. If you do, you're in trouble. 'Cause when you're getting old and your cells gettin' low, you'll need a Delco battery to boost ya.

Smile well and often, it makes people wonder what you've been up to.

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes you get rained out.

I use my single windup, my double windup, my triple windup, my hesitation windup, my no windup. I also use my step-n-pitch-it, my submariner, my sidearmer and my bat dodger. Man's got to do what he's got to do.