In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks.

Ratbert (as lab rat, to scientist): Doc, we have to talk. Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese. At first I thought you were just being a good host. But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister.

I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.

'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip.

No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.

Every generation of humans believed it had all the answers it needed, except for a few mysteries they assumed would be solved at any moment. And they all believed their ancestors were simplistic and deluded. What are the odds that you are the first generation of humans who will understand reality ?

Everybody is somebody's else's weirdo