I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. It looks fun.

You already barely exist. Disappearing entirely won't be that much of a change.

If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.

Women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently.

I get mail; therefore I am.

If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.

My old life - no amount of getting used to it would have made it right.