Always Postpone Meetings with Time-wasting Morons

The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.

Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.

I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake.

I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.

Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.

I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.