Always Postpone Meetings with Time-wasting Morons

If you don't believe your salmon is wild, ask it to fetch your newspaper and see what happens.

Obviously there's not much options when you're a cartoonist - you pretty much either work at home or rent an office I guess, and working at home just seems easier.

He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.

In yesterday's post, I asked how many of you guys would have sex with a robot if it was indistinguishable from a hot human woman. About 95% of the hetero guys said they would. The other 5% expressed a strong preference for lying.