Never base your budget requests on realistic assumptions, as this could lead to a decrease in your funding.

Your shower is ready - I turned it on last night.

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.

There's no such thing as good ideas and bad ideas. There are only your own ideas and other people's. If you want someone to like your idea, tell him he said it first last week and you just remembered it.

No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.

This happens to me: I have this great idea and then I make the mistake of telling someone else.

If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.