The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but there isn't much doubt that I'll always be the 'Dilbert guy.' Unless I go on a crime spree, in which case I'll be that stabbin Dilbert guy.

In case the rest of you missed it, the inspirational speech was: 'If you work hard, you can achieve great things. And then you die'.

You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money. You've got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids.

I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.

Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.

I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.