If you think it's easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you've probably never tried.

I'm curious how you'll know it works. I assume it's mostly a cosmetic change.

The only risk of failure is promotion.

Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.

I have a perverse attraction to risk. Not physical risk but emotional, financial risk - anything than can't kill you immediately.

If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.

Beware of those who try to sell you simple answers to complex questions.