The computer cuts my production time in half. I love it.

Management is nature's way of removing idiots from the productive flow.

The world isn't fair, but as long as it's tilting in my direction, I find that there's a natural cap to my righteous indignation.

I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.

The greenest home is the one you don't build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with another family and share a house that's already built. Better yet, live in the forest and eat whatever the squirrels don't want.

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.

If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.