Everybody is somebody's else's weirdo

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

I burned out my drawing hand by using it too much. The common word for it is writer's cramp. The fancy words for it are focal dystonia. The symptom in my case was a pinky finger that went spastic when I tried to draw.

You're thinking I'm one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I'm not. I say its a free country and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as long as your cold dead body is not blocking my driveway.

People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred.

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car.

If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.