I'm not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I'm terribly uncomfortable.

It's hard to argue with the government. Remember, they are they run the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, so they must know a thing or two about satisfying women.

I never knew what an engineer did for a living when I was a kid. I still don't.

In case the rest of you missed it, the inspirational speech was: 'If you work hard, you can achieve great things. And then you die'.

No matter how smart you are, you spend much of your day being an idiot.

You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.

To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of two categories: (1) things that need to be fixed, and (2) things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to play with them. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems. Normal people don't understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.