We know the goats are imported because they don't speak English.

I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message.

He was tenser than Jesse Jackson on Father's Day.

Obviously there's not much options when you're a cartoonist - you pretty much either work at home or rent an office I guess, and working at home just seems easier.

Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.

Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.

By definition, risk-takers often fail. So do morons. In practice it's difficult to sort them out.