We know the goats are imported because they don't speak English.

Few things in life are less efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advantage of this method is that you end up with something for which you will not be personally blamed.

I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake.

Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you.

In case the rest of you missed it, the inspirational speech was: 'If you work hard, you can achieve great things. And then you die'.

On the fourth day of telecommuting, I realized that clothes are totally unnecessary.

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.