The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up.

Writers tend to work early in the morning, or late at night, when brains are naturally able to focus deeply on one thought. In the middle of the day, distractions are unavoidable. I wonder if anything worthwhile has ever been written in the afternoon.

Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto

By definition, risk-takers often fail. So do morons. In practice it's difficult to sort them out.

A matador is a guy who didn't have enough people skills to be promoted to serial killer.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

Have you ever noticed that things that don’t kill you make you weaker? And great minds don’t think alike. If they did, the patent office would only have about fifty inventions. I started getting suspicious when I cried over spilt milk and the cashier took it off my bill.” - Wally