I keep hearing the argument that some things are constitutional while other things are not. The idea is that we should be in favor of all the things that were decided over 200 years ago by a bunch of slave-owning cross-dressers who pooped in holes.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

My investments have been hurt.

The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but there isn't much doubt that I'll always be the 'Dilbert guy.' Unless I go on a crime spree, in which case I'll be that stabbin Dilbert guy.

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the

People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred.

Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.