I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message.

There are always deadlines I have to meet. I don't let myself get too close to the deadlines, so it's not like I'm just sweating bullets or anything if the clock is ticking. I never let myself get in that situation.

If you think it's easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you've probably never tried.

I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero.

Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.

I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.

The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day. This is why people of different religions can generally live in peace. At some level, we all suspect that other people don't believe their own religion any more than we believe ours.