You might think the word "homemade" is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don't realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that's why.

The world isn't fair, but as long as it's tilting in my direction, I find that there's a natural cap to my righteous indignation.

God designs people's emotions so you fall in love with people who, in return, wouldn't even use your hollowed-out skull for a spittoon.

Beware of those who try to sell you simple answers to complex questions.

If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.

When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.