He was tenser than Jesse Jackson on Father's Day.

For the record, I am not a nut. I am an optimist. That's exactly like a nut except with a better attitude.

Ideas are worthless. Execution is everything.

If you think it's easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you've probably never tried.

I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.

The main difference between marketing and fraud is that criminals have to pay for their own alcohol.

A person with a flexible schedule and average resources will be happier than a rich person who has everything except a flexible schedule. Step one in your search for happiness is to continually work toward having control of your schedule.