Home is pretty utopian.

I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.

Boss: I just heard that light travels faster than sound. I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words.

'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip.

The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.

To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of two categories: (1) things that need to be fixed, and (2) things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to play with them. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems. Normal people don't understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information.