The only risk of failure is promotion.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.

Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment. I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data. Then eat the wrong kind of foods and hope you die before the earth does.

Reporters are faced with the daily choice of painstakingly researching stories or writing whatever people tell them. Both approaches pay the same.

I should have written that down. - Dilbert

I'm curious how you'll know it works. I assume it's mostly a cosmetic change.