I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.

When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.

Beware the advice of successful people; they do not seek company.

If you don't believe your salmon is wild, ask it to fetch your newspaper and see what happens.

Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there

For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.

If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.