I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

Home is pretty utopian.

No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.

Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information.

If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.

Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.

The day you realize that your efforts and rewards are not related, it really frees up your calendar.