Lately, the only thing keeping me from being a serial killer is my distaste for manual labor.

I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.

When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.

You might think the word "homemade" is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don't realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that's why.

Intelligence is a measure of how well you function within your level of awareness.

Never base your budget requests on realistic assumptions, as this could lead to a decrease in your funding.