Lately, the only thing keeping me from being a serial killer is my distaste for manual labor.

I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.

What does it mean to be yourself?” he asked. “If it means to do what you think you ought to do, then you’re doing that already. If it means to act like you’re exempt from society’s influence, that’s the worst advice in the world; you would probably stop bathing and wearing clothes. The advice to ‘be yourself’ is obviously nonsense. But our brains accept this tripe as wisdom because it is more comfortable to believe we have a strategy for life than to believe we have no idea how to behave.

Science is a good thing. News reporters are good things too. But it's never a good idea to put them in the same room.

Intelligence is a measure of how well you function within your level of awareness.

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime.

The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits.