In case the rest of you missed it, the inspirational speech was: 'If you work hard, you can achieve great things. And then you die'.

Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.

Beware the advice of successful people; they do not seek company.

Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a "Big Bang" at all-it was more of "Phhbwt" sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the "Little Phhbwt" theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away.

The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out.

Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster.

For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.