If you’re going to create, create a lot. Creativity is not like playing the slot machines, where failure to win means you go home broke. With creativity, if you don’t win, you’re usually no worse off than if you hadn’t played.

He was tenser than Jesse Jackson on Father's Day.

Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.

Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.

The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.

The computer cuts my production time in half. I love it.

Science is a good thing. News reporters are good things too. But it's never a good idea to put them in the same room.