As a fan, I'm distraught, but as a cartoonist looking at new vacant spaces in 2400 newspapers, well, behind me, my cats are dancing a conga line.

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

My philosophy is that every phone conversation has a loser.

One of the great things about being ignorant is that I often think my ideas are original. It's a wonderful feeling. That's why I try to avoid any knowledge that would spoil the sensation. Sometimes it isn't easy. People keep hurling knowledge at me, and I can't always duck.

It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.

Women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently.