As a fan, I'm distraught, but as a cartoonist looking at new vacant spaces in 2400 newspapers, well, behind me, my cats are dancing a conga line.

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

If free will exists, why do the tallest candidates with the best hair usually win elections ?

In case the rest of you missed it, the inspirational speech was: 'If you work hard, you can achieve great things. And then you die'.

The best you can hope for in this life is that your delusions are benign and your compulsions have utility.

Crackpot is an excellent job because the expectations are so low. No one ever tells crackpots that they should be doing more.